生活反常了！！一切变得很没有逻辑~~

不安！！

我很讨厌这种感觉，我不想胡思乱想。。可是，我又不能不这样想。。我不是不信任他，只是觉得没有信心。。我不知道为什么。。喜欢他，原来是这么不安的。。我不想把他想成是那种专搞暧昧的人，因为他说他是成熟的。。

TIRED!!!

today was a tired day.. went for st john for the extra class.. been incharge of recruits class.. tired~~ the recruits are so active.. me want to admit old liao.. cannot tahan after whole morning busy with the practical.. sob sob.. next time, i dont want incharge of recruits class liao.. it is super tiring.. exam next week, but i still dont know anything.. haiz.. one more week to prepare.. god, help me!! i dont want fail.. yi lian suggested to go practise on friday, before the exam.. wonder.. can i go??


mop the whole house.. tired..

finally..

i finished my final exam!!

so relax.. can throw book liao.. i want to rest, want to go out with friends, want to play around, want to go back hometown.. but, what can i do now? except just stay at home, waiting for people to call me, to get my part-time job..


still haven decide when to go setapak, see the room.. may coming.. still haven find a room.. fan le.. i want my room, i want stay there.. no matter what.. but now still haven rent a room.. how?? fan fan..


today went to take picture and go fill in the form for the part time job.. but they only want me work on 7pm to 12am.. sure mum nag la.. cause who going to fetch me go work?? and it is so late, later kena rob, how?? so many questions.. i very fan le.. want me go work, now go find job, they nag pulak.. aihzz...

zZZz~~

today is a terrible day.. almost late for the exam.. every place i passed by are jam like hell.. can't imagine if i am late for exam.. i was super tension when in the car.. everything that i read before, all i forgotten.. my exam also sux.. got 4 questions, but when i do until question 2, i start to feel dizzy, feeling sleepy.. so i just simply write the answer.. because i am just so blur.. beh tahan.. finally last paper dy.. faster finish, faster can relax..

setapak room haven rent yet.. see also haven see.. haha.. how? dont know lo.. now have to see how.. dont know when can go and see..

want to work part-time during semester break.. any job offer??

BiLL XP

just got my degree year1 sem1's bill.. see the amount.. walao.. rm5,000++ le.. haha.. last time thought only rm4,000++.. money matter again.. thinking.. going to orientation anot.. the activities very boring le.. all the talks.. wuliao.. wait!! now is not the time to think of all these.. tomorrow management paper no eyes see lo.. cause cant memorise everything.. headache.. haha.. everyone.. enjoy your revision la.. haha.. good luck.. 2 more papers to go.. after that, can throw book liao..so happy..

sien..

haha.. actually i have a lot of thing to tell, to share.. but still i wont write it here.. cos it is my secret.. maybe few of you know about it.. haha..
sometime really feel very fan lo.. keep simply think.. good or bad? correct or wrong?? really cant differentiate it.. i really wanna siao liao la..
study kena scold, never study also kena scold.. what they want me to do??
do this kena scold, do that also kena scold, never do anything lagi kena scold.. haiz..
now, life is so hard..
niway.. luckily i still able to cheer up by thinking of something.. haha..
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yesterday manage to finish the notes for web page, while today i manage to finish the management studies notes.. haha.. happy.. need it?? ask from me lo.. haha..
the whole study been busy with some activities like chit-chatting with friend, sms, studying, reading text books, reading novel, and daydreaming.. haha.. damn busy..
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study week damn sien~~

What a boring study break.. Everyday facing text book only.. sien lo.. Cannot go out, everyday sit at home.. Do nothing.. haiz.. Go school also not that boring.. But good thing is.. No need to wake up early.. haha.. PIG!!
Been holding the html text book for few days liao.. but still haven finish reading.. Sister's friend gave us some books.. So, i was multitasking when doing revision.. Read the text book and the story book in the samt time.. cos too boring kep reading the text book.. haha..
Just now go kacau sin man.. Want stress stress her so that she will go study.. see.. I am so GOOD to her, so CONCERN bout her.. haha.. want vomit.. purposely want to kacau her de.. so that she will stress up and start studying.. haha..
Final coming lo.. haiz.. haven prepare well.. this time sure die de lo.. everyday study, eat, watch tv and sleep.. but the time i spent on tv is more than the time i spend in do revision.. die de lo..
now only left 6 more days.. i still haven finish my revision.. must add oil liao.. so.. everyone also jia you la.. good luck in final lo.. haha..=p

TE2

Yesterday was the last day of foundation.. We went to red box yesterday.. I came in late.. but i did enjoy the every moment we have.. At 1st, i really dont feel like going in there.. Because i think that, no everyone of us actually singing.. but, it prove that i am wrong.. I am glad to make the right decision.. 4 hours seem to be so long.. But for us, it was so long.. it passed so fast..
Maybe this is our last gathering.. dunno when will we having fun together.. haha.. I will surely miss everyone.. when came to the end of da sing K session, we took pics together.. Although some 1 was missing.. But still we having fun..
After this, we have to start doing revision, prepare for final.. after the final, we have a month of semester break.. then we have to start our "journey" in degree level.. all of us heading to different campus, different course.. some going Kampar, some going Setapak..
It been almost 1 year, i be with them.. In TE2.. Honestly, i always think that i cant mixed well with them.. i seem to be the outsider of TE2.. i not very close with u guys/girls.. It is true that i always be with may.. I just dont know why.. haha.. I always think that i cant chit-chat with u people, think that we have no topic to talk on.. haha.. look like i am totally wrong..
I may not be very cooperate with everyone.. But at least i try.. haha.. Maybe some people think that i very hard to be friend, think that i am co called "sombong".. Sorry to left a bad impression for u.. Haha..
Really sorry if i did something that did hurt your heart.. I want to APPOLOGISE here.. and 1 more thing.. THX to be my frenz, and THX for everything.. Good luck in future undertakings.. and jia you everyone.. Meet u guys again in Kampar.. Hopefully..=p

I LOVE TE2 AND PROUD

TO BE ONE OF THE MEMBER IN TE2..

me myself..

Kor messaged me yesterday. He reply:"Hi sis,there?so hw's ur day?wat u learned frm d emotion past few days?sory at 1st,nt i dun reply much,bt i do tink u ned a pair of earz mr than words, so i jz lend u my earz..beside,i tink u can tink beter nw d2,huh?bt u alwaz hv a lil.bad habit,u alwaz compare bek, compare dat ur bad,ur -ve,ur nt gud,y nvr lok @ d gudside?u ned2walk of frm tinkin urself as a failure, else u wil b dir 4eva..no mtr hw gud ur..u live on ur own feet 4ur own,nt 4me,nt bcoz of him,nt even jz 2proof anytin..jz live ur life,live it wel,dat simple,can?no 1can gv u confidence,bcoz if d confidence iz given,means u nvr have it at all..find ur own's,build ur own,n bproud bt nt ego,4 ur own..all d best to u2,in d upcumin test..gudluck,n jiayou,may u b tough..n sory,2reply late.."
Da message was so long.. Its meaningful.. I try to learn from what he told me.. I tried.. But always failed to do so.. maybe it is just because i don't even try it.. I always give myself excuses.. I always stand at the same place, never even think of to change my attitude.. I do not know to appreciate.. I always thought that i was treated badly by my parents.. I understand why they treat me in that way.. This is all because they want me to do better, to make them proud of.. but sometimes i just cant accept it.. I always think that life is so unfair.. why i have to be treated in this way?? I really don't understand it..
I understand that i live 4 my own.. Not for anyone.. I should be happy with everything.. I am luckier than some other people.. At least i got parents, got friends, got family, got chance to study.. But sometime i just cant comfort myself with that.. Cognitive dissonance(learned from management studies).. I am grow up now, should learn to think for myself.. Should plan for my own life, my future.. Not for anyone, but MYSELF.. Wish me good luck.. haha.. I will try to accieve what I want.. maybe not try is MUST.. for today onward, it will be a new day with new hopes.. jia you!!
I AM PROUD FOR BEING ME MYSELF!!