problems~~

I dont want stay at home.. Everyday facing the wall, cant really find someone to talk to.. I cant tell them about what am I thinking, who am I actually missing, what I want to do and where I want to go.. What I can do is just sitting at home, reading story books, helping mum cleaning the house.. I am lazy.. I dont want to do housework.. My hand still pain, but I dont have choice.. If I doont do, sure kena nag whole day again.. Everyday have to wake up early, but why sister can sleep until so late? Because she is working and I am not? Where can like this.. It is so unfair.. I have to do all the stuff, while she no need by complaint that her leg kena bite by ants?? I whole bosy aaching still have to mop the whole house le.. Why I cannot complaint? Wonder.. Really bu shuang about this.. Please be fair..

You always said I am useless, but do you even think about what is my feeling?? When people praise your daughter, you should be proud.. Not by pijak-ing your daughter infront of others.. This really make me feel bad.. Be proud of your own child.. Give them hope by encourage them, not by complainting them infront of other people.. It really make me feel embarrassed.. Please give me a stage to go down.. You always said I am useless.. But do you even try to understand what I want? I knew myself very well.. I am not that kind of child that can work part-time while studying.. If I able to handle my studies well, maybe I will work for part-time.. But the problem is without working part-time, my result not that good compare to others.. But i tried my best.. I want you to be proud.. Maybe I am not the best daughter in the world, but at least I still able to make you feel proud of.. What you all want actually? A smart daughter but cant work part-time job or a stupid daughter that can earn money? Is it so important that I cant earn money? I tried not to spend so much.. That is the reason why I always stay at home, never go out with friends, never go yam cha.. Because I know I cant earn money.. I know I been spending a lot of money for tuitions, buying things, national service.. Sorry about that..

I dont want to compare with others.. But I just cant do it.. I know I should be happy for being able to have a family, have a place to live, have money to use.. But sometimes I just dont understand why I always kena nag.. Because I am lazy? Because of my hot-tempered?? Or because I always stay at home but I cant help much?? Who can tell about this?? It is really stressful staying at home.. I always listen to the same thing.. I dont know to cook, I dont know to drive, I dont know to help do housework, I dont know to earn money, like to make my own decision.. What I know is sleeping, eating, daydreaming, reading novel, watching televisyen.. Haha.. Quite true also.. But dont la everyday say back the same thing.. Very annoying.. And everytime I heard it, sure become moody and bad-temper de.. Change something new la..

Dad is ok with the room I rent in setapak.. But mum is not happy about it.. She keeps thinking that I make my own decision about the room.. I dont want to stay near the school, want go stay at some where that are far from school.. Dad is happy because the room I am renting is quite convenience.. Near school and got food stall there.. But mum think the different way.. If I stay at the same house with Kim Leong, he will be able to look after me.. But the problem is if I want go eat, I have to walk quite a distance le.. Which one is better?? Dad want bought a new MyVi to sister.. The Kelisa will put at setapak for me to learn to drive.. Want me to practise to drive when in setapak.. Haha.. But the problem is I am worry.. It has been so long i never drive car.. Now regret also no use.. Haha..

I still dont know when am I shifting to setapak.. Plan to start staying there on june.. So need to fan for the first week.. Dont know how.. Want tumpang at friend's house.. But no idea.. Haiz..