Today shifted all my stuff to Setapak, then we went to find Kim Leong. Mana tau he not feeling well.. Parents keep saying I stupid, dont know to call him from the window, stand there like idiot only. Haiz. I am speechless.. But never mind, since I will be leaving home soon.. Haha..
After that, went to mum's friend's shop to have brunch.. Haha.. I think the food is ok la.. But mum keep complaint that not delicious. But never mind, friend ma.. So the aunt counted the bill quite cheap la.. Haha..
Then, we went to dad's working place. Before that, we dropped by a shoe factory. Because there having warehouse sales.. Teman mum go buy shoes.. But not me buying la.. so boring stand there.. Finally, mum bought a pair of high heels, while dad bought 3 pairs of black shoes.. Plus yesterday 2 pairs of shoes.. Dad been buying 5 pairs of shoes in 2 days.. 1 word~~"GENG!!"
When in the factory that dad been constructing, I met Justin and Joshua.. Have some chat with them la. Then went home with them, since parents need to stay there to do some stuff.. Haha.. Actually, quite fun hanging with them la.. 1 thing that memalukan is---I cant open my house's lock.. no face ya..
At home, mopped the whole house.. So so tired.. Then, prepare dinner for sister. Then, washed al my clothes, had my dinner, bath and finally start doing my organic chemistry lab report.. Now almost finish liao.. So happy.. Because just now still worry cannot finish the lab report on time.. Doing it together with May.. Discussing in MSN.. Haha.. geng le??
Tomorrow got work again.. Then, at night going back Setapak with kor and adeline.. Haha.. Monday coming again.. So lazy to go for class.. Haiz. Because I haven revise my organic chemistry.. Which I bet with kor that I will study it in this week.. Look like I cant take it.. Haiz.. This weekends so busy!!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Weekend~~
Yesterday went to easy pha-max conference with parents. Justin, Joshua (Justin's brother) and Kien Mun follow along. I woke up at 6.00am to morning call Kien Mun, then i sleep back until 7.00am only wake up. Haha!! Me so evil la. =p
After woke up, went to bath and eat breakfast lo. Then, sms him but he never reply, so I called him again. He memang like to be late la. Beh tahan.. Haha.. He was late again, but nevermind la since parents just get ready on that time. After that, we went to Justin's house to pick them up. Me so cham!! Sit with 3 guys at the back seat, like sardine only. Because all so big size, make me no place to sit. Sob sob~~
When reached there, my legs cramp, faster climbed out from the car. Haha. We went to the hall, having breakfast. Me actually dont plan to eat, because dont feel like eating. But mum start to nag, said paid liao, dont waste the money.. Then, Joshua took 3 pieces of sandwiches for me, so have to eat lo. After ate breakfast, I followed mum go register lo. The company system very teruk le. Sent them the name, but they never wrote it on the ID. Cacat la..
We went inside the hall and ready for the speech. Kien Mun's promoter called, so he went out to answer the call la. Then, he just stay outside until I sms him. Mum keep asking me where he went, so fan.
After listen half way, start to feel sleepy liao. Then, he went out again. I dont like lunch break. Only 45 minutes, and itu Kien Mun dont know go where liao. Mum keep ask me to call him. Buthe pulak switch off phone. Feel like punch him and scold him kau kau. Bu shuang..XP
And the lunch also teruk la.. Never prepare well, we been waiting for the food so long. When reached our turn, all the food finished. Damn sui la.. Then, wait for the food lo. Then, Chee Hou sms-ed me that result is out. So I am so nervous, asking sister helps me check for the result.
After knew my result, me no mood eat my lunch liao. Because I am too happy. The result is better than what I been expected.. Haha.. Can chuan in front Kien Mun, Justin and Joshua. After lunch, teman mum go toilet. She nag me because I keep talking to Joshua and Kien Mun. Ask me keep quiet. Just dont understand why she nag me about that. Not my fault also, they are boring so they talk to me la. sob~~
The second part of the conference started. Kien Mun, Joshua and Justin start to fall asleep. Haha.. So nice to kacau them, disturb them from sleeping. Haha. Finally, the talks ended. Happy time because no need sit inside the hall anymore. Prepare for dinner.
We went to upstair to look at the scenery. Then, we took some photo. Haha.. Our first picture is at here. Havent get the picture from Justin.
The company service is teruk la. Never register mum's name. So we have to sit at different table. The uncles same table with me like hungry ghost, so scary la. The dinner is so bad. The food sux man, not nice de. Never eat full full also.
**Half way of the dinner, the company hold a donation for the Si Chuan earthquake. Dad donated Rm50. I am so touch when listen to the speech. Why this happened to our earth? Wonder.. **
When came back home, I be the sardine again. Reached home on 12.00am. Sleepy~~ Slept at 1.50am. SO tired!!
=====================================
Today woke up at 10.45am. Actually me suppose to work at 10am, but he helps me work first, so that I no need to wake up so early. I went to work on 1pm. Haha. He is late for work again today. We suppose to work on 10am, but he reached at 10.45am. Haha. So he changed the time setting. Bad boy ya.
He went out at 2.30pm to Klang, I guess. Feel sorry because I kept on call him. So many thing happen today. Me is so stupid, keep making mistakes. Luckily all the customers are so nice, they never scold me for being so slow.
Then, I told him come back faster. He came back at 6.00pm. So, I learned to close account. So happy le. Because the amount in computer and the machine is the same. Haha.. First time le. And I still haven meet my boss. Wonder how he look like??
When I went back, he still there, because need to wait for boss to take over the shift. Kelian him. Because he never take the salary. The salary is for me de. He filled in the card that me working. But actually, he worked in the morning, but he never take the salary. This few days also like that. When I worked with him, all the salary I take. Haha. He work without salary. Blek..
After woke up, went to bath and eat breakfast lo. Then, sms him but he never reply, so I called him again. He memang like to be late la. Beh tahan.. Haha.. He was late again, but nevermind la since parents just get ready on that time. After that, we went to Justin's house to pick them up. Me so cham!! Sit with 3 guys at the back seat, like sardine only. Because all so big size, make me no place to sit. Sob sob~~
When reached there, my legs cramp, faster climbed out from the car. Haha. We went to the hall, having breakfast. Me actually dont plan to eat, because dont feel like eating. But mum start to nag, said paid liao, dont waste the money.. Then, Joshua took 3 pieces of sandwiches for me, so have to eat lo. After ate breakfast, I followed mum go register lo. The company system very teruk le. Sent them the name, but they never wrote it on the ID. Cacat la..
We went inside the hall and ready for the speech. Kien Mun's promoter called, so he went out to answer the call la. Then, he just stay outside until I sms him. Mum keep asking me where he went, so fan.
After listen half way, start to feel sleepy liao. Then, he went out again. I dont like lunch break. Only 45 minutes, and itu Kien Mun dont know go where liao. Mum keep ask me to call him. Buthe pulak switch off phone. Feel like punch him and scold him kau kau. Bu shuang..XP
And the lunch also teruk la.. Never prepare well, we been waiting for the food so long. When reached our turn, all the food finished. Damn sui la.. Then, wait for the food lo. Then, Chee Hou sms-ed me that result is out. So I am so nervous, asking sister helps me check for the result.
After knew my result, me no mood eat my lunch liao. Because I am too happy. The result is better than what I been expected.. Haha.. Can chuan in front Kien Mun, Justin and Joshua. After lunch, teman mum go toilet. She nag me because I keep talking to Joshua and Kien Mun. Ask me keep quiet. Just dont understand why she nag me about that. Not my fault also, they are boring so they talk to me la. sob~~
The second part of the conference started. Kien Mun, Joshua and Justin start to fall asleep. Haha.. So nice to kacau them, disturb them from sleeping. Haha. Finally, the talks ended. Happy time because no need sit inside the hall anymore. Prepare for dinner.
We went to upstair to look at the scenery. Then, we took some photo. Haha.. Our first picture is at here. Havent get the picture from Justin.
The company service is teruk la. Never register mum's name. So we have to sit at different table. The uncles same table with me like hungry ghost, so scary la. The dinner is so bad. The food sux man, not nice de. Never eat full full also.
**Half way of the dinner, the company hold a donation for the Si Chuan earthquake. Dad donated Rm50. I am so touch when listen to the speech. Why this happened to our earth? Wonder.. **
When came back home, I be the sardine again. Reached home on 12.00am. Sleepy~~ Slept at 1.50am. SO tired!!
=====================================
Today woke up at 10.45am. Actually me suppose to work at 10am, but he helps me work first, so that I no need to wake up so early. I went to work on 1pm. Haha. He is late for work again today. We suppose to work on 10am, but he reached at 10.45am. Haha. So he changed the time setting. Bad boy ya.
He went out at 2.30pm to Klang, I guess. Feel sorry because I kept on call him. So many thing happen today. Me is so stupid, keep making mistakes. Luckily all the customers are so nice, they never scold me for being so slow.
Then, I told him come back faster. He came back at 6.00pm. So, I learned to close account. So happy le. Because the amount in computer and the machine is the same. Haha.. First time le. And I still haven meet my boss. Wonder how he look like??
When I went back, he still there, because need to wait for boss to take over the shift. Kelian him. Because he never take the salary. The salary is for me de. He filled in the card that me working. But actually, he worked in the morning, but he never take the salary. This few days also like that. When I worked with him, all the salary I take. Haha. He work without salary. Blek..
Friday, May 23, 2008
Life!!
Me going back to school soon.. Haha.. So happy, because finally holidays come to an end. Cant wait to go back.. Wonder who will be my coursemates. Yet, now still worry about my result. The UTAR so slow la. Until now still haven upload our result in intranet.
I haven pay my bill yet. Haha. Haven collect my UTAR t-shirt, file and also haven go to take picture for the student ID. So so so busy.......
I want my time table, because I have to confirm with Kien Mun about the promoter job in GIANT. Haiz... I wish I can take up the job, but scare crash with my studies. One more thing is the job is on saturday and sunday. And my birthday is on saturday, I want go out celebrate with friends. But i need money also.. How?? Wonder should I accept the job offer??
=============================================================
Yesterday went out with Joan, Chee Shan, Joe Hui, Xinnee and Hui Nien. Sorry ya gals, I cant have dinner with you all. Yi Lian, sorry cant meet you up yesterday. I have to rush back because I knew he will be late for work again. Haha.. But nevermind la, dy biasa la..
I bought J CO donuts yesterday. only bought half dozen la.. Sharing with friends. Then today is sister's birthday. So the donuts become sister's birthday present. Me so smart le. Niway, just wanna said, "Sis, happy birthday lo!!" Me long time never said happy birthday to siblings and parents liao, because it will feel so weird to wish them. Haha..
He came at 7.20pm (if I am not wrong) . Late again. Then, he went out again. Left me in book store until 10 something. Luckily, nothing happen, I am still able to handle the problems. Lucky thing is boss never come and not even call. Good la.. Because yesterday I was so worry that boss will drop by and call to know how is the business. I never see boss before ma. Of course will scare la..
A day finished. Was so tired. Because i been wearing contact lense for whole day, eyes were so so tired. Haha. After he went back then I mai go sleep lo.
=============================================================
Tomorrow have to wake up early, going to eaay pha-max conference. Haiz.. Mum also called him go, so tomorrow I need to morning call him liao. If not, he sure wake up late again de. Haha.. Hope he can wake up la.. Because he today works until 12 am again. Lazy pig~~
I haven pay my bill yet. Haha. Haven collect my UTAR t-shirt, file and also haven go to take picture for the student ID. So so so busy.......
I want my time table, because I have to confirm with Kien Mun about the promoter job in GIANT. Haiz... I wish I can take up the job, but scare crash with my studies. One more thing is the job is on saturday and sunday. And my birthday is on saturday, I want go out celebrate with friends. But i need money also.. How?? Wonder should I accept the job offer??
=============================================================
Yesterday went out with Joan, Chee Shan, Joe Hui, Xinnee and Hui Nien. Sorry ya gals, I cant have dinner with you all. Yi Lian, sorry cant meet you up yesterday. I have to rush back because I knew he will be late for work again. Haha.. But nevermind la, dy biasa la..
I bought J CO donuts yesterday. only bought half dozen la.. Sharing with friends. Then today is sister's birthday. So the donuts become sister's birthday present. Me so smart le. Niway, just wanna said, "Sis, happy birthday lo!!" Me long time never said happy birthday to siblings and parents liao, because it will feel so weird to wish them. Haha..
He came at 7.20pm (if I am not wrong) . Late again. Then, he went out again. Left me in book store until 10 something. Luckily, nothing happen, I am still able to handle the problems. Lucky thing is boss never come and not even call. Good la.. Because yesterday I was so worry that boss will drop by and call to know how is the business. I never see boss before ma. Of course will scare la..
A day finished. Was so tired. Because i been wearing contact lense for whole day, eyes were so so tired. Haha. After he went back then I mai go sleep lo.
=============================================================
Tomorrow have to wake up early, going to eaay pha-max conference. Haiz.. Mum also called him go, so tomorrow I need to morning call him liao. If not, he sure wake up late again de. Haha.. Hope he can wake up la.. Because he today works until 12 am again. Lazy pig~~
Thursday, May 15, 2008
one day trip..
I went to setapak today with kim leong and xinnee.. We went to pasar seni first, then we went to makan at McDonald. After that only sit LRT go Wangsa Maju. When I at the LRT station, the machine cacat la. Dont want eat my ticket, make me jam there because cannot get my card. Haha.. After reach Wangsa Maju, we went to my room in Setapak. We sitting inside do nothing, talking only. Then we went to Kim Leong's room, go see the store room. Haha. Then we went to UTAR campus, go walk walk awhile. The campus quite far le. Walk until leg pain.. Blek.. Then xinnee and me went back ourselves, because Kim Leong has something to do. Finally reach home at 5pm. Tired ya.. Finally finally, i knew how to go setapak. And today is the FIRST time i sit LRT.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
nightmare!!
今天又发梦了，发了一个很奇怪的梦。
地点：UTAR PJ Campus PA Block
突然梦见自己出现在PA141（应该是吧，如果没记错的话）。奇怪的是，自己竟然在里面处理着一堆香蕉。课室里面有人谈论着一宗谋杀案。当时我的身分好像是一位警员，处理香蕉的当儿，也和他们谈了谈这个案件。不久后，小张走过来和我一起收拾那堆香蕉。他看到那香蕉又大又黄，便拿了一条来吃。他还给了我一条，可是我看到那香蕉好像坏了，告诉他，他却不听。突然，那条香蕉变成青色（好像一堆algae黏在上面似的），还没来得及告诉小张时，他已经将香蕉吃完，拍拍屁股走掉了。留我在那堆香蕉前发呆。
之后，自己突然有一种不好的预感，好像什么坏事会发生似的。我在UTAR里，没有目标的走上走下，很迷惘，不知道自己要干嘛。
隔天，去到学校，自己一个人站在biology lab前面，又发起呆来了。就在这个时候接到joan cheng的电话，可是我听不到她说什么。不久后，jay打给我，他告诉我，小张死了。他叫我去看布告板，因为那儿刊登了他的死讯。报章刊登了他的死状，很恶心了。是谁杀死了小张？没有人知道。
突然间，自己又换了身分，成为一位学生，坐在课室里考试。当天考的是数学科，可是考卷却是华语考试，而且校方还采用了seafield的考卷。奇怪的另一点竟然是Puan Ng Swee Chin是我的考官。可是，我却没法回答这张考卷。脑海里充满了关于小张的死，自己会和他一样吗？当时的我，真的很乱。Yen Ee一直问我一大堆问题，搞到我快崩溃了。
过后，爸竟然拿了pizza来请我的朋友。看到贤政和紫珊在课室里，还有一班不认识的人。紫珊问我要不要和蘑菇汤，可是我没睬她，因为在这一刻，我想到一些东西。那就是：“在那间课室吃东西的人，都会死、死。。。。”脑袋就一片空白，过后就醒来了。
是不是很奇怪？不要问我谁是小张、joan cheng和jay，因为我并不认识他们。哈哈。。
最近自己好像真的挺会发梦的哦。发的都是奇奇怪怪的梦，快疯了。。
地点：UTAR PJ Campus PA Block
突然梦见自己出现在PA141（应该是吧，如果没记错的话）。奇怪的是，自己竟然在里面处理着一堆香蕉。课室里面有人谈论着一宗谋杀案。当时我的身分好像是一位警员，处理香蕉的当儿，也和他们谈了谈这个案件。不久后，小张走过来和我一起收拾那堆香蕉。他看到那香蕉又大又黄，便拿了一条来吃。他还给了我一条，可是我看到那香蕉好像坏了，告诉他，他却不听。突然，那条香蕉变成青色（好像一堆algae黏在上面似的），还没来得及告诉小张时，他已经将香蕉吃完，拍拍屁股走掉了。留我在那堆香蕉前发呆。
之后，自己突然有一种不好的预感，好像什么坏事会发生似的。我在UTAR里，没有目标的走上走下，很迷惘，不知道自己要干嘛。
隔天，去到学校，自己一个人站在biology lab前面，又发起呆来了。就在这个时候接到joan cheng的电话，可是我听不到她说什么。不久后，jay打给我，他告诉我，小张死了。他叫我去看布告板，因为那儿刊登了他的死讯。报章刊登了他的死状，很恶心了。是谁杀死了小张？没有人知道。
突然间，自己又换了身分，成为一位学生，坐在课室里考试。当天考的是数学科，可是考卷却是华语考试，而且校方还采用了seafield的考卷。奇怪的另一点竟然是Puan Ng Swee Chin是我的考官。可是，我却没法回答这张考卷。脑海里充满了关于小张的死，自己会和他一样吗？当时的我，真的很乱。Yen Ee一直问我一大堆问题，搞到我快崩溃了。
过后，爸竟然拿了pizza来请我的朋友。看到贤政和紫珊在课室里，还有一班不认识的人。紫珊问我要不要和蘑菇汤，可是我没睬她，因为在这一刻，我想到一些东西。那就是：“在那间课室吃东西的人，都会死、死。。。。”脑袋就一片空白，过后就醒来了。
是不是很奇怪？不要问我谁是小张、joan cheng和jay，因为我并不认识他们。哈哈。。
最近自己好像真的挺会发梦的哦。发的都是奇奇怪怪的梦，快疯了。。
Monday, May 12, 2008
《永不死心的男人》
今天在家读了张小娴的散文集《欲望的鸵鸟》里的一篇散文《永不死心的男人》。她描述的散文是这样的：
当你不喜欢一个人的时候，你是什么也会看他不顺眼的。即使是很小很小的事情。例如头发的分界；他的发界太偏左，你会认为是很大的问题。他常常开怀大笑，也会惹你讨厌。他为什么不能酷一点？他的鼻孔太大了，他的皮肤偏黄，她的手指太长，这些统统都是不能容忍的缺点。
当他爱你而你不爱他的时候，他总是有很多事情令你看不顺眼。人太好，也是问题。对你太好，也叫你受不了。你就是不喜欢他对你这么好。你尤其讨厌他对你千依百顺。
当你越是尝试去喜欢他，你越是看他不顺眼。为什么我们会这么差劲呢？那个人并没有对我们不好；相反的，他很好很好。对我不好的人，我会死心塌地，对我好的，我偏偏要折磨她。
是的，他这么好，我会难过。我会抱怨，为什么对我这样的不失我爱的那个人，而是一个我不爱的人？所以，我特别憎恨他。
只要我不爱他，我会用显微镜去观察他的缺点。然而，当他死心了，撤退了，我又会有点失落。既然他那么爱我，我还以为他是永不死心的。我想要一个永不死心的男人，世上有吗？
我认同她的看法，应该是完全认同。越喜欢自己的人，我会觉得他越讨厌。不懂为什么。听到他的声音时会觉得很刺耳。他的关心让我觉得很烦。总而言之，就是觉得他很讨厌。自己会去避开他，不想见到他。可是当他死心时，自己确实会觉得很失落。
失落，
因为没有人纠缠不清，
因为得不到他的注意，
因为没有人再把自己捧本在手心，
可是，时间久了，自然就放下咯。
爱情本来就是酱嘛？越想得到，就越难得到吗？哈哈~~
当你不喜欢一个人的时候，你是什么也会看他不顺眼的。即使是很小很小的事情。例如头发的分界；他的发界太偏左，你会认为是很大的问题。他常常开怀大笑，也会惹你讨厌。他为什么不能酷一点？他的鼻孔太大了，他的皮肤偏黄，她的手指太长，这些统统都是不能容忍的缺点。
当他爱你而你不爱他的时候，他总是有很多事情令你看不顺眼。人太好，也是问题。对你太好，也叫你受不了。你就是不喜欢他对你这么好。你尤其讨厌他对你千依百顺。
当你越是尝试去喜欢他，你越是看他不顺眼。为什么我们会这么差劲呢？那个人并没有对我们不好；相反的，他很好很好。对我不好的人，我会死心塌地，对我好的，我偏偏要折磨她。
是的，他这么好，我会难过。我会抱怨，为什么对我这样的不失我爱的那个人，而是一个我不爱的人？所以，我特别憎恨他。
只要我不爱他，我会用显微镜去观察他的缺点。然而，当他死心了，撤退了，我又会有点失落。既然他那么爱我，我还以为他是永不死心的。我想要一个永不死心的男人，世上有吗？
我认同她的看法，应该是完全认同。越喜欢自己的人，我会觉得他越讨厌。不懂为什么。听到他的声音时会觉得很刺耳。他的关心让我觉得很烦。总而言之，就是觉得他很讨厌。自己会去避开他，不想见到他。可是当他死心时，自己确实会觉得很失落。
失落，
因为没有人纠缠不清，
因为得不到他的注意，
因为没有人再把自己捧本在手心，
可是，时间久了，自然就放下咯。
爱情本来就是酱嘛？越想得到，就越难得到吗？哈哈~~
Saturday, May 10, 2008
"afternoon-mare"??
Today, parents left house early.. Can sleep until late late only wake up.. But still my that brother, suddenly so hardworking want go library study, so sister has to fetch him go la.. Make me cannot sleep until very very late.. 10am woke up.. Bu shuang lo.. Then, eat my breakfast.. Read novel then watch cartoon.. 1pm that time, feel hungry.. So ask sister go ta pau la.. She bought me tom yam fried rice.. Haha.. Quite spicy la.. After makan, feel sleepy pulak.. So go to sleep la.. Sleep sleep sleep.. Then have a bad dream.. Dream of I got a down syndrome boy friend.. And his mum asking me out yam cha, said want to discuss about our wedding.. Haha.. Then i refuse to marry with him.. Then his parents called my nanny and talk to her about it.. And nanny ask me think clearly.. Walao.. What kind of dream is it? Fast fast wake up.. Dont want continue to dream about this matter liao.. Think I watch too much TV liao.. Haha.. Then I mop the whole floor.. And watch TV again.. After that, eat dinner.. But eat abit only, give brother the rest.. Because still feel full.. Then now, I am hungry again.. Want to go find something to eat.. Haha.. Getting fat liao lo..=p
Friday, May 9, 2008
What a day??
I hate it.. Idiot.. I want go out then go out la.. I am 19 this year.. No longer a small kid, k? I can take care myself.. Give me some freedom, k? I just went out with friends.. Someone that you all know well.. But why still want scold.. I not asking money from you all also.. Today I didn't even spend any money.. I admitted that I going out, because I just want to be honest.. But why still want scold me.. And I finished everything, all my works before I going out.. I just want a little bit of freedom.. I am not a bird in the cage..
Excuse me.. What you mean by "You are not important?" A cloth is more important than your own daughter? Now i knew it.. Do you know how hurt i felt? Just in order to dry your pants, you said this to me.. Sometime I really wonder.. How can you said it to me? I am your daughter.. I am here not for you to scold, to nag, to complaint about.. I am your daughter not your maid, k?
Why want spoilt my mood like this? Today is a happy day for me, but it is before i met my parents at home.. Just let me be happy just a day, is it so hard for you two to make it? Please.. Why I need to live like this.. I dont dare to fight back because I know I am your daughter.. No matter what I said, you all wont listen.. But just be fair..
I want my own life.. I want to live my life happily.. But your words really hurt me a lot.. I dont dare to tell you what I think face to face.. But I hope you all know that, child is a gift.. Not a burden.. Love your child, care about them.. Not by pressuring them.. I hope to see changes when I come back from setapak (although it is still have 3 more weeks to go, before i staying at setapak)..
Excuse me.. What you mean by "You are not important?" A cloth is more important than your own daughter? Now i knew it.. Do you know how hurt i felt? Just in order to dry your pants, you said this to me.. Sometime I really wonder.. How can you said it to me? I am your daughter.. I am here not for you to scold, to nag, to complaint about.. I am your daughter not your maid, k?
Why want spoilt my mood like this? Today is a happy day for me, but it is before i met my parents at home.. Just let me be happy just a day, is it so hard for you two to make it? Please.. Why I need to live like this.. I dont dare to fight back because I know I am your daughter.. No matter what I said, you all wont listen.. But just be fair..
I want my own life.. I want to live my life happily.. But your words really hurt me a lot.. I dont dare to tell you what I think face to face.. But I hope you all know that, child is a gift.. Not a burden.. Love your child, care about them.. Not by pressuring them.. I hope to see changes when I come back from setapak (although it is still have 3 more weeks to go, before i staying at setapak)..
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
problems~~
I dont want stay at home.. Everyday facing the wall, cant really find someone to talk to.. I cant tell them about what am I thinking, who am I actually missing, what I want to do and where I want to go.. What I can do is just sitting at home, reading story books, helping mum cleaning the house.. I am lazy.. I dont want to do housework.. My hand still pain, but I dont have choice.. If I doont do, sure kena nag whole day again.. Everyday have to wake up early, but why sister can sleep until so late? Because she is working and I am not? Where can like this.. It is so unfair.. I have to do all the stuff, while she no need by complaint that her leg kena bite by ants?? I whole bosy aaching still have to mop the whole house le.. Why I cannot complaint? Wonder.. Really bu shuang about this.. Please be fair..
You always said I am useless, but do you even think about what is my feeling?? When people praise your daughter, you should be proud.. Not by pijak-ing your daughter infront of others.. This really make me feel bad.. Be proud of your own child.. Give them hope by encourage them, not by complainting them infront of other people.. It really make me feel embarrassed.. Please give me a stage to go down.. You always said I am useless.. But do you even try to understand what I want? I knew myself very well.. I am not that kind of child that can work part-time while studying.. If I able to handle my studies well, maybe I will work for part-time.. But the problem is without working part-time, my result not that good compare to others.. But i tried my best.. I want you to be proud.. Maybe I am not the best daughter in the world, but at least I still able to make you feel proud of.. What you all want actually? A smart daughter but cant work part-time job or a stupid daughter that can earn money? Is it so important that I cant earn money? I tried not to spend so much.. That is the reason why I always stay at home, never go out with friends, never go yam cha.. Because I know I cant earn money.. I know I been spending a lot of money for tuitions, buying things, national service.. Sorry about that..
I dont want to compare with others.. But I just cant do it.. I know I should be happy for being able to have a family, have a place to live, have money to use.. But sometimes I just dont understand why I always kena nag.. Because I am lazy? Because of my hot-tempered?? Or because I always stay at home but I cant help much?? Who can tell about this?? It is really stressful staying at home.. I always listen to the same thing.. I dont know to cook, I dont know to drive, I dont know to help do housework, I dont know to earn money, like to make my own decision.. What I know is sleeping, eating, daydreaming, reading novel, watching televisyen.. Haha.. Quite true also.. But dont la everyday say back the same thing.. Very annoying.. And everytime I heard it, sure become moody and bad-temper de.. Change something new la..
Dad is ok with the room I rent in setapak.. But mum is not happy about it.. She keeps thinking that I make my own decision about the room.. I dont want to stay near the school, want go stay at some where that are far from school.. Dad is happy because the room I am renting is quite convenience.. Near school and got food stall there.. But mum think the different way.. If I stay at the same house with Kim Leong, he will be able to look after me.. But the problem is if I want go eat, I have to walk quite a distance le.. Which one is better?? Dad want bought a new MyVi to sister.. The Kelisa will put at setapak for me to learn to drive.. Want me to practise to drive when in setapak.. Haha.. But the problem is I am worry.. It has been so long i never drive car.. Now regret also no use.. Haha..
I still dont know when am I shifting to setapak.. Plan to start staying there on june.. So need to fan for the first week.. Dont know how.. Want tumpang at friend's house.. But no idea.. Haiz..
You always said I am useless, but do you even think about what is my feeling?? When people praise your daughter, you should be proud.. Not by pijak-ing your daughter infront of others.. This really make me feel bad.. Be proud of your own child.. Give them hope by encourage them, not by complainting them infront of other people.. It really make me feel embarrassed.. Please give me a stage to go down.. You always said I am useless.. But do you even try to understand what I want? I knew myself very well.. I am not that kind of child that can work part-time while studying.. If I able to handle my studies well, maybe I will work for part-time.. But the problem is without working part-time, my result not that good compare to others.. But i tried my best.. I want you to be proud.. Maybe I am not the best daughter in the world, but at least I still able to make you feel proud of.. What you all want actually? A smart daughter but cant work part-time job or a stupid daughter that can earn money? Is it so important that I cant earn money? I tried not to spend so much.. That is the reason why I always stay at home, never go out with friends, never go yam cha.. Because I know I cant earn money.. I know I been spending a lot of money for tuitions, buying things, national service.. Sorry about that..
I dont want to compare with others.. But I just cant do it.. I know I should be happy for being able to have a family, have a place to live, have money to use.. But sometimes I just dont understand why I always kena nag.. Because I am lazy? Because of my hot-tempered?? Or because I always stay at home but I cant help much?? Who can tell about this?? It is really stressful staying at home.. I always listen to the same thing.. I dont know to cook, I dont know to drive, I dont know to help do housework, I dont know to earn money, like to make my own decision.. What I know is sleeping, eating, daydreaming, reading novel, watching televisyen.. Haha.. Quite true also.. But dont la everyday say back the same thing.. Very annoying.. And everytime I heard it, sure become moody and bad-temper de.. Change something new la..
Dad is ok with the room I rent in setapak.. But mum is not happy about it.. She keeps thinking that I make my own decision about the room.. I dont want to stay near the school, want go stay at some where that are far from school.. Dad is happy because the room I am renting is quite convenience.. Near school and got food stall there.. But mum think the different way.. If I stay at the same house with Kim Leong, he will be able to look after me.. But the problem is if I want go eat, I have to walk quite a distance le.. Which one is better?? Dad want bought a new MyVi to sister.. The Kelisa will put at setapak for me to learn to drive.. Want me to practise to drive when in setapak.. Haha.. But the problem is I am worry.. It has been so long i never drive car.. Now regret also no use.. Haha..
I still dont know when am I shifting to setapak.. Plan to start staying there on june.. So need to fan for the first week.. Dont know how.. Want tumpang at friend's house.. But no idea.. Haiz..
Saturday, May 3, 2008
thurs, fri and sat!!
Last thursday, which is also labour day.. Parents and me went to setapak to search for the room I going to rent when study at setapak.. finally found one at Taman Bunga Raya there.. Friend recommend.. Haha.. Finally settle my problem.. But now have to start thinking about when I going to shift in?? Maybe start renting on june, want to save money.. The first week maybe travel from house.. Haiz.. It going to be very suffering.. Because have to wake up early everyday.. Headache when think about it.. Haiz.. Fan.. Dad want put a car there, so it will be easier for me to travel from place to place.. But the problem is I dont know to drive.. Haha.. Never mind, at least got people want to sit my car.. Haha.. Must learn to drive when in setapak.. Cannot sia sui.. Must prove to them that I can drive.. Blek..
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Friday went back to school for the extra practical class in order to prepare for the coming first aid test.. End up, i was playing in the bilik kesihatan.. Walking around doing nothing.. They all thought i know about first aid, keep asking me question.. But pai seh la.. Because i actually dont know anything also.. Same as them.. So I just simply give them the answer.. Haha.. Then after the practical, I still have to wait for brother to finish his koperasi thing.. Sit in Bilik Kesihatan doing nothing, waste my time only.. But never mind la.. Because I also dont want go home so early.. So i just took a short nap in Bilik Kesihatan.. Haha.. Inside BK got sofa.. But still very boring because i alone in the Bilik Kesihatan.. Was eating lunch with Swee Kiang, King Hao, Yi Lian and a girl.. then, Yi Lian need to rush back home, because have to look after her brother.. So i teman her back lo.. We walk back.. Then, I walk back school.. From USJ 4 back to USJ13.. It is damn far.. sweating like mad when reached school.. Haha.. Damn tired le..
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Today is the day for me to take my first aid exam.. Was so nervous before the exam, start to worry this, worry that.. But when see the paper, I dont know what to say.. To say easy, not really.. To say hard, but not also that hard.. Ok la.. but still worry for the theory test.. Cos never study, simply tembak only.. Haha.. My exam is with all the examiners, almost the last group taking exam.. The practical part not that worry.. Cos quite relax.. Haha.. Think back last time, first aid exam used to be very serious.. Now it is like quite relaxing, not that formal.. Haha.. Suddenly become the examiner for Choking.. Wonder.. But i really feel bad because I scared a member.. She like want to cry when I keep asking her question.. Haha.. Dont know why la.. Maybe I really scare her.. But still I thought I am not that fierce.. Haha.. Finish exam on almost 2pm.. half die when reach home.. Grandparents came my house.. And I ate my lunch on 2 something.. Muscle pain le.. Talking to kor for almost an hour.. About room in Setapak, About UTAR, and other stuff la.. Long time never really chit-chat with friends liao.. Miss the old time..
=============================
Friday went back to school for the extra practical class in order to prepare for the coming first aid test.. End up, i was playing in the bilik kesihatan.. Walking around doing nothing.. They all thought i know about first aid, keep asking me question.. But pai seh la.. Because i actually dont know anything also.. Same as them.. So I just simply give them the answer.. Haha.. Then after the practical, I still have to wait for brother to finish his koperasi thing.. Sit in Bilik Kesihatan doing nothing, waste my time only.. But never mind la.. Because I also dont want go home so early.. So i just took a short nap in Bilik Kesihatan.. Haha.. Inside BK got sofa.. But still very boring because i alone in the Bilik Kesihatan.. Was eating lunch with Swee Kiang, King Hao, Yi Lian and a girl.. then, Yi Lian need to rush back home, because have to look after her brother.. So i teman her back lo.. We walk back.. Then, I walk back school.. From USJ 4 back to USJ13.. It is damn far.. sweating like mad when reached school.. Haha.. Damn tired le..
=============================
Today is the day for me to take my first aid exam.. Was so nervous before the exam, start to worry this, worry that.. But when see the paper, I dont know what to say.. To say easy, not really.. To say hard, but not also that hard.. Ok la.. but still worry for the theory test.. Cos never study, simply tembak only.. Haha.. My exam is with all the examiners, almost the last group taking exam.. The practical part not that worry.. Cos quite relax.. Haha.. Think back last time, first aid exam used to be very serious.. Now it is like quite relaxing, not that formal.. Haha.. Suddenly become the examiner for Choking.. Wonder.. But i really feel bad because I scared a member.. She like want to cry when I keep asking her question.. Haha.. Dont know why la.. Maybe I really scare her.. But still I thought I am not that fierce.. Haha.. Finish exam on almost 2pm.. half die when reach home.. Grandparents came my house.. And I ate my lunch on 2 something.. Muscle pain le.. Talking to kor for almost an hour.. About room in Setapak, About UTAR, and other stuff la.. Long time never really chit-chat with friends liao.. Miss the old time..
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